How will I know when it’s time to consider euthanasia for my pet? 

This is the most common question we hear for the simple reason that our emotional pain when facing the loss of our loved one can be extreme, and we desperately want to make the “right” decision.  We cannot bear the thought of our pet suffering…but we also feel we cannot handle saying goodbye.  If this is what you are currently facing, you are not alone. 

Often by the time a family calls us, they have been told by the vet or a well-intentioned friend: “You will just know”.  This is confusing and misleading.  While we certainly have a unique relationship with our pets, one in which we truly feel understood by them and that we understand them as well, this does not always translate to a clear understanding of when your pet is ready to leave us. 

To make matters more confusing, we often hear “Well, he has had a great life. What are you waiting for?  Might as well end his suffering. I mean, you don’t want to wait too long, right”?? Now we are left feeling like maybe we should not be feeling as horrible as we do about the decision!  Why does this decision seem so obvious to my friends and family, yet I still cannot bring myself to make it?? Again, you are not alone. 

Then, if you are like most of us, when faced with an impossible choice you head to Google to find an answer.   You may come across online quizzes and assessments of Quality of Life.   These typically come down to analyzing the following parameters:

To what extent does pet still enjoy normal activities such as play, dog walks, and being with the family?

How is pet’s mobility—ability to walk and ability to go the bathroom comfortably?

How is pet’s mental state?  Does your pet become confused, lost in home, have trouble recognizing loved ones?

How is pet’s sleep quality?  Does he/she sleep through night, or is there restlessness, panting, extra potty trips needed?

Is pet still eating and drinking?  How much effort is being spent finding foods the pet will eat? 

Is pet able to control ability to go to bathroom in appropriate area, or is incontinence a becoming an issue?  If incontinence is an issue, how much of an problem is this for the family? 

Is pet able to breathe normally, or is breathing labored and/or rapid?  Is pet coughing?

Does pet seem to be experiencing anxiety?

Is pet in pain?  +/-vocalizing, difficulty getting up and lying down, restless, cannot seem to sleep, isolating/hiding, panting, cranky-(not wanting to be petted, picked up, groomed, snapping/biting), less able to get into car and on/off furniture, abnormal postures such as hunched spine. 

We do encourage you to spend some time thinking about these quality-of-life parameters.  Sometimes it’s helpful for family members to jot down some notes independently, then come together to discuss…keeping in mind that is is completely normal and acceptable to not 100% agree.  The family member spending the most time caretaking the pet often has a different perspective than the family member who comes home after a long day of work and experiences the pet’s excitement…even when perhaps the pet has not left the couch all day! 

Next…and most importantly…how do you feel after giving your pet’s quality of life some thought?  Do you feel relieved that your pet seems to be doing okay in most areas…or do you feel saddened that it does seem like there is a struggle happening in most areas?

When we question pet families about how pets are doing, we do tend to be more concerned about certain symptoms over others. For example, many of us and our pets have been experiencing chronic pain for some time.  Most senior pets and humans experience chronic arthritic (joint inflammation) pain at some point and have benefitted from use of anti-inflammatories.  This is very different from the pain from a bone tumor that has acutely fractured.   Pain that is sudden and severe constitutes an emergency. 

Another symptom that we want to know about is breathing.  Respiratory distress (labored and rapid breathing) is considered very uncomfortable and constitutes an emergency. 

Now, back to the chronically ill or aging pet.  You have assessed the quality of life parameters and are still confused.  For example, your pet no longer seems to care about food and does seem lost sometimes, but otherwise still seems engaged and happy?  Or perhaps pet is eating great and still wants to go on walks, but you are up all night listening to pacing and panting, then find potty accidents everywhere? 

  At this point we really want to know:  how are YOU doing?  Yes, you.  But wait, isn’t it selfish to consider how I am doing, when all that matters is my pet?  I mean, aren’t I being selfish by keeping my pet here just because I can’t let go? 

Stop for a moment, take a deep breath, and consider the following.  No, it is NOT selfish to not want to say goodbye.  It is not selfish that this is the hardest thing you have ever faced, and you don’t want to face it.  It is not selfish that you are exhausted and sad.  It is not selfish that you might be tired of vet visits, trying to get your pet to take medications, trying to find foods your pet will eat, tired of seemingly spending endless amounts of money at the vet that is hard to afford, tired of cleaning potty accidents and other bodily fluids from your carpet, tired of trying to balance work/life/your own health/travel plans/parenting etc etc and also keep caring for your ailing pet. 

All these feeling just make you…human.  And the fact that this is so incredibly hard and confusing just makes you even…more human. 

Is there a magic question that helps you decide?  No..but we do find many families feel somewhat resolved about the euthanasia decision once considering the following:

What is more difficult/painful for YOU:  the thought of saying goodbye to your pet, or the thought of watching your pet continue to struggle? 

If the struggle and the roller coaster ride of good days and bad days and that realization that your pet is no longer able to enjoy themselves is becoming too hard…then it might be time to give us a call.  You are not alone. 

Remember, also:  we will NEVER perform a euthanasia if we do not agree that it’s appropriate timing. Has this ever happened?  Rarely, but yes.   In our collective years of veterinary experience, we sometimes think of a treatment that you can ask your vet about…or perhaps we are at your home and the pet gives us the impression that today is just not the day.  If this is the case, we will discuss with everyone present and come to a decision together.  We’ve got you.